Gold, Myrrh, and FrankenScience

Back in 2001 the world was treated to a medical procedure that largely went unknown. This was a partially successful full-on monkey head transplant. Yes. Doctors cut the head off 2 monkeys and sewed one head on the body of another. The monkey regained consciousness. As the procedure requires the spinal cord to be severed the monkey didn't have much more ability-wise than breathing and looking pissed off. In its' current state the procedure will render the recipient a quadriplegic.

The monkey survived for several hours before succumbing to the procedure.

Like I said...partially successful.

It sounds like something that would come out of some pulp mad scientist science fiction magazine from the 1940's. We even have a mad scientist who goes by the name Robert J. White. Dr. white is the brains behind the monkey head-transplant as well as a very vocal proponent for human head transplants. He even showcases a paralyzed buddy of his who is volunteering to be the first human to undergo a head transplant procedure.

What may surprise you further is this incident with the monkey is not the first time such a procedure has gone down. On May 21, 1908 the first 2-headed dog was created. A dog was decapitated and had his head grafted to the back of the neck of another dog. Major arteries and blood vessels were connected and it created blood flow. There was evidence the poor bastard was conscious after the procedure. The Russians were very big on their 2-headed dogs also. I'm surprised we didn't hear more about that during the cold war....The Iron Curtain and their 2-headed demon-dogs who want to destroy capitalism!

That woulda been a hoot!

The Russians were much more successful with their dog-head transplants as they were the first to successfully graft a head to another dog body that seemingly kept full brain function. This groundbreaking procedure was surprisingly done in the 1950's. This is what inspired Dr. White to perform the monkey-head transplant. He did his in 1963. He then did the operation again in 2001 which is where our story began.

What does this mean for us now?

Stem cell research is likely to improve the procedure. What becomes questionable is the ethics of such a procedure. Recently the news has been infatuated with human face transplants. The public interest in the face-transplant procedure can likely be attributed to the discomfort a lot of people have with the very idea. The very mention of the idea of a head transplant will probably make their stomach sink. A lot of questions are raised in regards to the ethics of the donor body.

But...perhaps there is a solution?

HEADLESS CLONES!

Yes, my friends. I know that sounds like science fiction again. I'm sad to report that it's not. Since we've had the ability to map DNA codes we have also gained the ability to alter them. Scientists have successfully created embryos of tadpoles and mice sans heads.

They didn't 'live' very long, needless to say.

The plan is to develop this research to pertain to the creation of headless human clones. These mindless sacks of meat would be hooked to life support systems to keep the body 'alive' until it is needed. The first idea for going ahead with headless human clones is for an inexhaustible supply of donor organs. This would be especially useful as it could potentially lead to developing organs based on the recipients DNA...thus a nearly 0% chance of rejection. The other use, potentially, is human head transplants.

And now I will leave you to your lunch and debate the ethics.

-Doc

BBC Article on Monkey Head Transplant

Headless Mice!

Robert J. White Wiki entry

The Divorce Special

Hello my homies,

Continuing on with my tradition and obsession with our obsessions with 'reality' television I am commenting on the 'major news' in regards to Jon and Kate that shall be revealed on the new episode due to air next week.

Even though they are not explicitly saying what it is....we can all pretty much guess at this point, no? The divorce of 2 miserable people is never a happy time but often necessary. What I find particularly distasteful about this instance is they are using this announcement to further boost ratings on their television show. What can easily have been done through a news conference is now being kept hush-hush beyond 'Something major is going down. Tune in!'

I feel sorry for those kids in the end. It's unfortunate they have been born to a coupla' schmucks like those.

-Doc

If Life Gives you Poop....

Make Poop Juice! Wise words from Bug-Eyed Earl (from the bizarre comic strip 'Red Meat')

Hamilton, Ontario (where I currently am living) is undertaking a project the first of its kind in Canada. All city vehicles are going to be running on bio-fuel. More specifically they will be running on biofuel made from human sewage. I suppose a year ago I may have been against anything that would tarnish the sweet Hamilton air anymore...but since the closing of Stelco Steel there has been something missing from the air. The thick yellow haze. The smell of sulphur. Maybe poop-powered trucks is JUST what we need to get this city back like it was old times!

-Doc

Read more here.