Breatharians!

Ahoy,

Today we are going to take a look at the Beatharians! A silly following started by a man named Wiley Brooks. Mr. Brooks claims he has discovered a way to end world hunger; which is people don't have to eat. He believes the human body can live on just air and sunlight alone.

Time for another science lesson!

When we were very young, many of us were taught something very crucial to our survival; we gotta eat! Eating is a way to break down much needed nutrients to fuel our bodies. Currently, humans are NOT solar powered. Perhaps one day we might have solar cells surgically installed onto our scalps, but until then, eating is a good idea!

End of lesson.

Ok ok, I sound a little bit closed minded here. "Maybe it really works?" You ask. Well, maybe it does. The evidence all points to the contrary though. Once you become a Breatharian, you come under the spell of a terrible curse. Many many followers have mysteriously died of starvation! Sweet Jesus! How can this be? A couple of Australian Breatharians were convicted of manslaughter for the death of a young lady during her 3 week fast of absolutely no food. The young lady was found in the Scottish Highlands with a diary talking about Breatharianism, what she was doing, and her final cravings (which included swimming in fruit juice). She also mentioned that she felt the tingles letting her know that the teachings are working.

Last I checked, tingles mean you're not eating/drinking enough.

She died of starvation and exposure.

Now let'ss take a look at the people who spout this literature. Ellen Greve is a Breatharian guru from Australia. She claims to have not eaten for 5 years and lives only on a concoction of 'liquid light.' Reporters who visit her home become surprised to find it very stocked with food (which she claims is all for her husband). The NZARH, The New Zealand Association of Rationalists and Humanists, offered Mrs. Greve $100,000 if she can could go without eating for a month and live solely on the liquid light. Greve declined, claiming she was under investigation from various scientists. 60 Minutes of Australia were also investigating Greve and challenged her not to eat for a week.

She lasted 4 days. DEBUNKED!

Ellen Greve is a fake! Fake fake fake fake fake!

And what of Wiley Brooks whom we spoke of earlier? He was caught in a 7-11 digging into a chicken pot pie, packet of Twinkies, and washing it down with a Big Gulp!

Faker! Wiley Brooks is a FAKE!

Of course, with the true side of Wiley Brooks was exposed, the credentials of the Breatharians was ruined overnight. Many left the following. Unfortunately the die-hards claimed that Wiley's being found out as a closet eater to be a cruel hoax!

'No, no no, Brooks really WASN'T eating a chicken pot pie! He was just holding it and tasting it!'

Or some such nonsense.

So people, what have we learned today? It's good to eat!

On that note...I'm gonna make some pancakes!

-Doc